Shortform note: Kerner recommends continuing your tongue strokes throughout your partner’s orgasm to ensure that you’re giving her a complete experience. This tip is important to keep in mind as men often get distracted and rush through their partner’s orgasm with the expectation that she’ll perform oral sex on them next. Many women report having had this experience and deem it one of the biggest turn-offs.) After-Play Don’t forget that you’re learning these techniques because you respect the process of female arousal. To remind yourself, here are Three Assurances to recall.

In these blinks, we remedy this shortcoming and show you how cunnilingus is done, from cuddly foreplay to throbbing orgasm. The truth is, unless you want a baby, you don’t even have to include penetration to have great sex! Written by Amy Sohn. Who, in case you don’t know, is a great columnist and a well-received author of erotic novels. And – in this case, even more importantly – a woman! In addition to foreplay, there are two other stages of the sexual experience that will take your sex life to a whole new level.Shortform note: Kerner’s 10-20 second estimation of the average female orgasm may actually be on the short end—longer female orgasms can last between 20 seconds and two minutes, and one study showed that 40% of women polled experienced 30-60 second orgasms. Further research shows that, as Kerner explains, some women ejaculate and some don’t—but the statistics on the commonality of female ejaculation aren’t settled—a 2017 study reported that nearly 70% of women ejaculate, while other estimates range from 10% to 50%. And while Kerner claims that female ejaculate is not urine, recent studies show that female ejaculate is mostly urine—the alkaline secretions Kerner mentions make up a marginal percentage of the liquid.) Shortform note: Kerner says that foreplay—stimulating your partner before touching her clitoris—is fundamental for a sexual encounter because women require anticipation to become properly aroused. This is because whereas sex begins in the body for men, sex begins in the mind for women. This is due to the different levels of testosterone between men and women. Testosterone is the hormone that causes physiological desire and is typically much higher in men than in women. Consequently, women need more mental stimulation—what Kerner calls anticipation—than men to get sufficiently aroused.) Shortform note: Kerner claims that since all orgasms come from the clitoris, you should focus on two different parts of the clitoral network to give your partner a stronger, two-front orgasm (called a blended orgasm). However, recent research disproves Kerner’s claim that all orgasms are clitoral, which suggests that there may be other ways to achieve blended orgasms. They elaborate that women can also orgasm from nipple stimulation because it sends signals to the same part of the brain that’s responsible for genital sensations. So instead of focusing solely on the clitoris, you may be able to achieve a blended orgasm through a combination of clitoral head and nipple stimulation.)

Fair warning, what we’re about to get into is not safe for work. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read it at home! Now that you understand the basic functions of female sexual anatomy, it’s time to focus on when, how, and where to touch your female partner so you can walk her through each stage of the sexual response process until she reaches orgasm. Kerner breaks this process down into three steps: foreplay, cunnilingus, and after-play. When you get this right, it prepares a woman’s body for sex. It releases chemicals, her skin gets more sensitive, and her breasts swell. Some people refer to the clitoris as the happy maker, orgasm switch, or love button. That might make it seem easy to simply push it to give a woman an orgasm, but it’s more complex than that. Using your tongue may be the best way to satisfy a woman, but due to the complexity of the clitoris, there’s definitely an art to getting it right.Most believe that the key to good sex is long, hard penetration. But to orgasm, a woman needs to have her clitoris stimulated. So, if you’re a heterosexual man, revolutionize the way you think about sex! The goal of it is not to have a sex with your partner, but to make her needs come first. Since school leaves us wanting, we fall for myths around great sex. For example, you don’t have to have sex every time you and your partner are in bed. In fact, foregoing sex sometimes is a key to higher pleasure when you do make love. You can stimulate each of these parts during sex for maximum pleasure, but you’ve got to set the stage and plan on the right acts, which is what you’ll learn next. Lesson 3: Don’t just think of sex in terms of foreplay and intercourse, it’s about foreplay, coreplay, and moreplay.